Liam's gone a lil' batty

Happy Halloween!

hipitty hop

vampyroo ~ A hopping vampire, often featured in Hong Kong movies. Largely indestructible, vampyroos hop like a kangaroo, occasionally indulging in martial arts and 30-foot leaps. Quelled by attaching a handwritten controlling curse to the forehead

Featured in MR VAMPIRE 2

time change blows

ok i didnt like getting up at 6:45 but I like getting up at 5:45 even less.

Mindful Mommy Mondays

This kid looks like trouble...

Liam's BLOG

part 3

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Translation:

I have discovered lately the best way to keep my advantage over mum and dad is to keep them laughing. That way they have no idea when I'm going to strike. So I strive to amuse them with cute animal noises, adorable stopping foot and the puppy dog head tilt (works every time) - but never in public. It's better to make the others think mum and dad are crazy and making this stuff up. Infront of nana and gramma I never scream or cry for no reason or yell and smack mum in the face when she's done something I don't like. No No. Nana and Gramma think I'm the perfect angel. And so it shall remain.

every time

okay every time I say i'm going somewhere for a significant period of time - Peter asks:

Are you taking Liam?

Usually the answer is yes. However when the answer is no - he gets this weird look on his face like he has no idea what this means.

So tonight when he asked me this and I said no, I followed it with a quick explanation -

I plan on leaving Liam in his playpen all day with a doggy water bottle strapped to the side and some cherrios scattered in the bottom. Don't worry I'll put two diapers on him. HE'LL BE FINE!

yappin' it up

As I stood scrubbing clean the virtually spotless fridge of a 94 yr woman this morning - we had one of the most intelligent conversations about politics I've been involved in, in a LONG time. It's a amazing the perspective 94 years can give you. The year she was born the Titanic sunk, the US still only had 47 states and the girl guides were founded. By the time she was 25 she could see a "talkie"and FINALLY she could VOTE...she lived through WW1, the depression and WW2, she saw the inventions of the radio, the television AND the computer.

To sum up Elsie's view of politics and politicians:"They're all monkeys."

Put more eloquantly:"Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage."

Speaking of monkeys...Liam babbles all the time but we have yet to have actual words (other than mum and dad). He's getting very good at imitating the noises of animals however (puppy dog, owl, monkey). Part of me is worried sometimes that he won't ever be coherent. That all my son will ever be able to do is "ruff ruff" like a puppy with his chin tucked to his chest. That I'll never know what he wants or why he's crying or what the hell is so funny about mommy when she wears hats. The other part of me is afraid that when he does start - he'll never stop. That we'll have a running discourse on EVERYTHING that comes into his head or into his line of sight.

*the photo is from Elsie's birthday party back in the spring

Where's Liam Wednesdays...

straight toward discovery

feeling very tangentile...

(and remarkably like makin gup words, yes gup i said gup)
it's a bad sign when... you can't remember the day of the week despite being told 20 minutes ago and at least 4 times today. I really gotta get out more.

Maybe I'm really losing it and I'll start coming home with milk or Peter will find a frying pan in his sock drawer. Maybe I should go put the frying pan in there now just to mess with him. Seeing as he already thinks I've lost my mind - all I could smell around the house today was cat pee. So I scrubbed the entire main floor and stairs, cleaned the couch and cat window do-ey with upholstry cleaner and febreezed everything in site - the smell is gone. But Peter came home and didn't notice this. And he thinks I'm crazy for smelling cat pee.

Ok, I'll admit I'm slightly paranoid about the cat pee smell. See Rufus had this peeing problem awhile back where he peed everywhere in the entire house (but he was sick). Now he just does it when he's mad. Yes my cat gets mad - technically he's Peter's cat (ok he's Peter's cat when he's p*ssed me off but not when we snuggle in bed together) - and so I'm paranoid that either he's sick again or he's mad at me.

Funny sometimes I'm more concerned about the cat being mad at me than my family or friends. But I can pretty much guarantee that my friends aren't going to be peeing on the couch to get my attention so....


The pee smell suspect:

1 month, 2 days

seeing as we are 1 month, 2 days away from Liam's first birthday
i thought i'd post his invitation.

to those who are attending and wondering what to NOT buy a 1 yr boy (top 7):

1. porn
2. large bulky toys (we don't have the space)
3. video games
4. clothing with cutesy teddy bears or feet that don't have traction (he runs now remember)
5. thong underwear
6. noisy loud musical things without a volume control or off switch
7. nose rings

items 1,3,5 & 7 will have to wait 'til his 16th birthday.

Mindful Mommy Mondays

i guess he really is that tall

so polish

carla and i went to see anna's new digs last night - and it's a VERY nice place. much better than the 2 bedroom apartment she shared with her parents - especially since she doesn't have to share a room with her teen brother anymore.

Anna made these adorable appetizers - triangle wheat cracker, slice of cheese cut precisely into a square, a slice of ham cut to the exact same size, a tiny bread and butter pickle slice and to top it off a square of red pepper. her closet is also colour coded with different hangers, her shoes neatly stacked in boxes and everything precisely arranged. she also folds an omlette into a perfect square. she's so polish.

fyi...anna also can't screw in a light bulb.

out of the mouths...

so as usual i'm in walmart - in the baby section - and there's a little girl, say 1.5 or 2 yrs old in a stroller behind me. And then in a screech fills the air:

"COCK!"

me: blink - don't turn around, you're at walmart there may actually be a man with his penis out.

"COCK! COCK!"

me: slowly turning around to see the mother's face beet red looking desperately around.

little girl: hand flings into the air and she points...

"COCK Mommy! COCK!"

embarrassed mother: "CUP! P! P! CUP!"

FYI...

it's christmas.

i went looking for 2 things halloweenie today.

yes the stores have already replaced most of the halloween stuff with christmas trees and ornaments.

oh. the. joys.

downtown on the mountain

sullied. that's how i feel.

mountain plaza mall is the jackson square of the hamilton mountain.

this is just an observation:

homeless peoplesleeping in doorways, teen mothers smacking their dirty 3 yr olds, 1000 muslim women with 10 kids each waiting in line at walmart, 6 different stores run by asians selling the SAME SH*T, and 4 restaurants with 5 old italian men playing cards in each (maybe someone should introduce them, they can have a canasta tournament)

don't ya just wish...

cynical

call me cynical if you will but democracy is a sham.

the vast majority of people are too shortsighted to see the forest past the 100 yr old redwood they have their nose pressed against.

as a general rule people have short term memories. in municipal politics this results in people supporting the guy who fixed the pot hole down the street - while ignoring the fact that same guy has increased taxes, ignored critical issues until the news is involved or done nothing for the benefit of our city.

i have lived in hamilton my whole life and have no intention of ever leaving. i love this city.

yes hamilton has had is having some hard times. it's not easy to find a job. property taxes are the highest in the country. our infrastructure is faultering. our community services are lacking.
these are the problems our city council, our mayor have put us in - they turn away companies wishing to build here, create jobs here (not minimum wage jobs either), they hinder small company expansion, they don't invest in our communities (cutting the budget while giving themselves a raise is more important), they don't run our money making ventures so they actually MAKE MONEY.

doesn't that sound like we need a change?

memoirs of a geisha

i read this book and heard good things about the movie. visually, it's pretty nice. the book is WAY better.

however, whoever made this movie based in japan about japanese characters and culture must think all westerners see all asian people as the same. i think they used every other asian person BUT a japanese person for all the characters. cripes they even used an indian native american. being PC sucks.

sleep sweet sleep

i don't want to jinx it but Liam slept through two (count them 2) nights in a row. when i went in to get him this morning he was face down in Dora's tummy (i presume) telling her how much he adores her.

*yes my son has a dora blankie. yes i know dora's target market is girls. what can i say he likes the chicas.

Where's Liam Wednesdays...

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto

for the very obvious

I realized today I should not watch Oprah. On her "road trip" to meet "regular people" she went to an amish village.

And seriously ...... Could you please giggle some more and ask more stupid questions to these devoutly religious and deeply faithful people? teehee, no sex before marriage, teeehee?

come on.

rainy days

i'm not a melodramatic person. I think i'm actually very level headed. So when I get emotional and depressed, i get worried.

what i can only describe as an overwhelming sense of aloneness, self-pity and uselessness has overtaken me with increasing frequency lately.

rainy days when it seems like far too much effort to get liam together to go out are the worst.

blah.

we do the same things over and over and over - routine i suppose for liam - boredom for me. I need to do something. tomorrow back to the gym again - maybe i'll find someone willing to put up with me for an hour to have coffee with........

Mindful Mommy Mondays

brrrrrrrrrrr.

Liam's BLOG

Part 2 -

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Translation -

I have begun the campaign to destory mumum's sanity.

Step 1 - sleep deprivation on a new scale - my plan includes nights when I sleep thru and others when I get up 6 times - but being up at 5 am seems to be working best.

Step 2 -listen to less than 10% of what she says & obey only 5% of that - even though I understand everything she says it is fun to watch and listen to her yell no and Liam over and over

Step 3 - cry for no reason - this is my raison d'etre - it simply works the best at making her pull her hair out in clumps and scream and cry hysterically until for no reason again I stop

And the battle cry --- OHHOBI

OMFG it's snowing

Have I mentioned I hate winter too??

Back to the GYM

I have to say I despise going to the gym. I always have. I hate the women in make-up trotting on the treadmills. I hate the skinny girls on the weighs complaining about not being able to gain weight. I hate the old women with nothing to do talking about their daughters-in-laws for 3 hours.

I forced myself to go nearly everyday when I was pregnant because I was doing it for the baby. Now, I am going for the potential viewing audience on Cayo largo Cuba in April. It will be bad enough that they will be subjected to my glaringly white carcass - but lumpy and fat just won't do.

So I started back to the gym today and my goal is by March 31st I will least resemble my pre-pregnant body. Maybe if I wish (and spin around backwards 3 times and click my heels together and touch my toes and and and) hard enough I can actually look better.
HAHAHAHA.

Where's Liam Wednesdays...

"what the fudge is that??"
hehehe lake titicaca

3 Thanksgivings

I would like to point out that holidays of which you are required to travel around to various family homes were not my favourite before we had Liam. Now, however, they are extraordinarily painful. Carting a 10 month old between naps and meal times to homes that are either not equipt or to people who are not ready to handle him is not just annoyingit results in one or both of us having to stand the whole time (hardly a "holiday").

All in all this thanksgiving weekend went well enough. We had plently to eat...

Mindful Mommy Mondays - Thanksgiving Edition

And Liam's fear of birds is renewed.

my apology

Dear Liam,

I thought I wouldn't be saying all this until at least your 16th birthday or you needed an interview for your book (i.e. proof of your horrible childhood).

I'm sorry for yelling "NO" or your name 10 million times a day to get you to stop doing whatever it is I don't want you to do. I'm sorry you I won't let you dangle from the stove handle or throw wine glasses around the kitchen.

I'm sorry for not being there to catch you every time you fall. I'm sorry for turning my head, watching TV, going to the bathroom or making dinner. I live in constant fear auntie Shannon will come and take you away because of the constant state of injury you seem to be in.

I'm sorry for making you wear diapers. Mommy didn't know about the whole potty training from birth thing until today and I am deeply sorry that I didn't carry you around strapped to my body for the last 10 months so I would "know you better" and be able to "communicate" with you about your poops and pees.

I'm sorry I'm not more patient. But I have to leave some for daddy's antics.

Mostly I'm sorry that I can't let you run naked and free around a cushiony soft house doing whatever you please.

Love, Mommy

Liam's BLOG

Myf has suggested that I allow my extremely intellectual 10 month old to write a blog entry about the nature of the universe as he sees it.

Seeing as allowing the boy his own keyboard worked out so well...here goes.

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-- Roughly translated -- The world is a scary place full of things that come up and smack me in the face. During my travels, I have encountered the thing I walk on has hit me most often, with various other cohorts, namely the window sill and the square thing in the centre of the room. However, I seem to have somehow survived these attacks thus far. My many attempts to drive mommy crazy appears to be slowly working -- I will have to keep at it. Though my universe is small and full of odd people who cater to my every whim it has so far only afforded me a beautifully appointed room, two baskets of toys and a my own bookself. I will have to see how far I can push this advantage I seem to have over mommy and daddy.

Lessons learned

I ran across this wonderful posting by Steve Olsen today. My favourite is to pay attention to the little things. Liam has this knack for noticing every little speck - if I miss a cherrio on the floor you know he'll be the one to find it.

This got me thinking about all the wonderful ways that Liam has changed my life. Liam has opened my eyes to things that are silly, amazing, perplexing and simply hilarious. I've learned that the way a flower feels is as beautiful as the way it looks, that the noise you make when you blow across and empty bottle is awe inspiring (and difficult for a 10 month old) and that you can have just as much fun with a dish towel as any tickle me elmo doll.

Good Luck

Yesterday Liam and I ventured out for a short stroll and a dragonfly landed on me. Supposedly, this is good luck.

I'm not sure if this is true or not but it was sure cool.

Where's Liam Wednesdays...

Always getting under foot.

Mindful Mommy Mondays

Liam on safari