how do you ever really know anyone?

i just finished the pilot's wife by anita shreve - not a book i'd normally read but it was a good departure. it questions how well we think we know people and how well we can actually ever know even the people we are closest to.

i started thinking about how no matter how empathetic we are, how intimate we are - we can really never know -- fully -- who that other person is. you might have similar experiences even similar upbringing - but you cannot think the way they do or imagine as they do. despite spending years of your life with people (friends, family, husband) you cannot ever know what is in their heart. as frightening as that sounds the gulf that really remains between people is even more terrifying because so many of us fail to be honest. REALLY HONEST. because we spend so much time lying to ourselves.

honesty often sucks ass. that's why we lie to ourselves about being ok, happy with our lives and jobs and friends, about what ambitions we have (maybe we have none or they are so embarrassing you don't want to be judged or impossible altogether), about how we feel about people... and no one wants to hear the truth from someone else (trust me).

TODAY'S GOAL: BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH SOMEONE

also i told peter after reading this book before bed:

--i better not find out after your dead that you have this whole other life i know nothing about or i'll punch you in the face

--but i'd be dead

--it'd put the fun back in funeral